Down and Out

In my last post I showed my true crazy side and emotions and I have to say the feedback I received from my friends was surprisingly positive.  I was told over and over how other working moms often feel the same way I do but they do their best to keep it together and not show what they think others will perceive as "weakness."  I was very happy that no one "mocked" me for showing my feelings and no one treated me differently.  It felt amazing to finally put my feelings out there and get them off of my chest rather than bottling them in.

Shortly after that post we were able to take the family on a weekend trip to Kansas City.  We had some points for a free hotel from our Choice Rewards that we had to use soon so we settled on KC.  It was a great trip.  We were able to take our kids the T Rex Cafe and we were also able to meet up with my husband's aunt and uncle as well as a friend of mine that I met when I worked at Worlds of Fun.  It was a great dinner and our 5 year old was amazed at the dinosaur environment.  We even let the boys build their own dino at the Build a Bear (Dino) store that was inside the restaurant. Even though it was FREEZING cold that weekend, we didn't let it stop us from doing the things we had planned.  We took the boys to Lego Land and I swear we made our 5 year old's year by doing this.  He is OBSESSED with Legos and is having a Lego birthday party this summer!  We finished the trip with a must stop visit to a store called Cargo Largo.  Basically they get returns and clearanced items and sell them super cheap.  We always find some amazing deals here,  We would be in so much trouble if we lived close to KC.  We were not able to stop at our other must stop locations while in KC, the City Market, because it was so cold.  We love the Arab spice vendor.  Any spice or spice blend you can think of, they have.  They only charge $1-$2  per scoop and I would say each scoop is at least a cup.  We returned home and went back to the daily grind.

Back home we decided our 2, almost 3 year old son, was ready to move in to a big boy bed.  I'm not talking transitioning from toddler to big bed.  Nope, he was still in a crib and was quite content there.  We found an amazing memory foam mattress then let him pick out his bedding.  He chose trucks.  Doesn't really go with the previous jungle animal theme so I guess we have some work to do so the themes don't clash.  He was so happy.  He stayed in his bed all night from the first night.  We have not had any problems with him getting up in the middle of the night.  In fact,  who needs an alarm clock when you have him.  He knows when the sun comes up and he will not let anyone sleep past the moment he knows the sun is up.  Its hard to get mad at the face for waking you up that early .  When he smiles your heart just melts and his dimples....wow...I can't even.  He was so happy about his bed that he made sure every visitor to the house saw his new big boy bed for about a month after he got it.  

The evening we got the bed was going perfect....until bedtime.  Our 5 year old was running around the house after his shower and he slipped on the hardwood as he came around a corner.  He fell and his glasses split his eyebrow open.  So....life with boys is never dull.  Daddy took him to the ER where they were able to glue the gash back together rather than stitch him.  

A few weeks later it was time for our son's 3rd birthday party.  He chose Minions.  To this day I haven't the slightest clue why because he never has seen any minion movies and refuses to watch them at home.  But the little stinker sure knows what Minions say "Banana!!!"  The party was sugar overload.  We didn't have a meal, per say, but we had enough sweets to put a healthy person in to a diabetic coma.  We had twinkies with Minion wraps on them, bananas with minion wraps, minion cereal, minion birthday cake, puppy chow with blue and yellow m&ms, Minion cupcakes, minion fruit snacks, and probably a whole lot more than I cannot remember.  The party was great.  He got some new toys and new clothes and was so happy about all of it.  He got a new tool bench and outdoor gardening and lawn care set from mommy and daddy.  We all had a really good time.  

January 30 marked a very important date in my family's history.  On this day 20 years ago, a fire truck crashed through the front of our house sending my mother to an advanced trauma hospital because she was actually struck by the truck.  See what had happened was there was a flue fire up the hill from us so the fire department was called.  They arrived and someone forgot to block the wheel of a truck.  The emergency brake slipped and down the steep hill it began to roll.  One of the fire men noticed this and tried to jump in to the truck to stop it but was struck by the open passenger side door and thrown in to a row of mailboxes.  He also ended up being transported to the advanced trauma hospital.  The truck then continued down the hill where it crashed through the front of our house and struck my mother who was watching the incident from the front door window.  The fire truck came to rest inside of my brother's room.  Luckily it was a smaller truck.  My brother was on the phone with one of his best friend's lying on his bed when this happened.  Somehow he sustained a gash above his eye.  His mirrored dresser was blocking the door to leave his room but he was able to get out.  He ran out to the living room looking for me and found me sitting on the floor.  He picked me up and took me back to mom and dad's room, which was on the back side of the house and not damaged.  All I remember asking him was "Is this real?"  He said it was and I don't recall another time that I had even been so scared.  I was 11 years old, what was I supposed to think.  Prior to this the most awful thing that I remember happening were some awesome bike wrecks that left some cool scars.  Scars I have to this day that still have oil trapped inside of them because they were not cleaned by the ER staff. Anyway, my mom and the fire fighter made a full recovery.  We lived with my grandparent's for 3 months while our home was repaired.  We moved back in and my family has been there ever since.  

I consider my whole family to be lucky because this could have been so much worse.  I know we had angels watching over us during this time.  My mother was lucky that she didn't get killed.  Not many people can probably say they were hit by a firetruck and thrown through a wall and live to tell the tale.  My brother was lucky in that he was so close to the impact and he only sustained a cut that required a few stitches.  I was lucky in that I didn't receive a scratch but I had been in two places prior to the impact that would have killed me for sure.  I have no doubt.  I remember looking out of my bedroom window at was going on.  I went back to my bed about 30 seconds later and laid there for about a minute before going out to the living room to ask my mother what was going on.  That's when the truck hit.  I was 6 feet away from it.  The impact forced a set of dresser drawers through my brother's wall and into my room which crashed up against my dresser drawers, right along the wall that I had been standing at looking out the window just moments prior.  The impact also threw my brother's television through the wall and it landed on my bed, right in the area of where my head and chest where while I was laying down.  I have no doubt that the force of these impacts would have killed my 11 year old body instantly.  I feel truly blessed that we all made it through this incident alive and in one piece.  I remember that my dad called the house, like he did every night that he was on the road (he is an over the road truck driver) and his phone call was answered by the Sgt of the police department who told him what happened.  My dad made it to the hospital in about 30 minutes of the call.  The drive should have easily been an hour and he was fully loaded too.  He doesn't even remember the drive he has said. 

Moving along....

We finally had some new family photos taken. It had been 2 years since the last set.  The photographs were done by an amazing photographer who made this the least stressful family session we have ever done.  And bonus,,,,he does AMAZING work!!!!!!  Our boys were so well behaved and he just took pictures naturally instead of "posing" them and making them stay in one spot.  They turned out great.  The photographer was Rodrigo Pineda.  Below are our favorites!!!!

The month of February brought us a much needed double date day out with our neighbors who have blossomed into our best friends (sorry Cassie, I have more than one but I still love you!!!!)  We went to the Goodwill Outlet, Ikea (where we spent waaaaaaaay toooooooo much money) and to a local root beer brewery where we had dinner and the biggest root beer floats I have every laid my eyes upon.  It was so relaxing to get away.  Us two moms had really been having some stressful days with our children so this was so welcome and so relaxing.   

It was a good thing we had our relaxing weekend because February 19 ended our 24 hour streak of horrible luck.   February 18th my husband got home an said there was a warning light on in his truck.  The company said that he should not drive it anymore because the whole transmission could just lock unexpectedly.  So we used our insurance roadside assistance and had the truck towed to the dealer we bought the truck from.  The next day we received a phone call that the truck was fixed and it was covered 100% by the warranty.  AWESOME!!!  A few hours later we received a call that said our truck had been hit on the parking lot of the dealer,  but the damages had already been paid for by the striking vehicle.  Still stunk.  That truck is my husband's baby.  That evening I was driving to a small town to sell some crib bedding.  I was not even 2 miles from home and a deer jumped out of the woods and I hit him dead center.  He somersaulted in the air and  caused $5000 in damage to my car.  UGH!!!!  Luckily all is fixed now and no one got hurt. 

We finally finished with IEP testing for my 5 year old.  Basically they said he is overactive, but not to the point that he needs an IEP.  They also said, based on the testing, that he probably has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.  So our next step is to get him medically diagnosed.  The school was also going to look in to a 504 plan for his encopresis and Sensory Processing Disorder.  I haven't heard anything back yet.  It was comforting to know that my mother's intuition in regards to the ASD were not too far off base.  Now we move on and give him a normal life.

March 20th brought the sad news that a former officer of our department lost his battle with cancer.  He was a great man and a great role model.  Our department attended both the visitation and the burial in uniform.  This is the first law enforcement funeral I have ever attended.  It was truly a touching and emotional experience.  We had bagpipes being played and a 21 gun salute.  It was amazing to see how much he was loved by the community he served and protected for over 20 years.  

March 25th I took the boys to an Easter Egg Hunt at a nursing home in my hometown.  My aunt actually told me about it and I am so glad she did.  They had a great time and they were surprised when pawpa (my dad) showed up there to watch.  My 5 year old won a drawing for a gift basket.  It was filled with gift certificates to local places which included the bakery, the fudge shoppe. the candy shop, and the local deli.  He was so happy and beaming with pride and excitement.  The Easter egg hunt in the town we live in now.....well.... that didn't go so well.  My 5 year old was so obsessed with finding the golden egg that he only picked up 3 eggs.  Meltdown City!!!!  Great!!  Luckily another little boy saw this and he came and gave my son some of the eggs he had found.  It was very sweet.  It is good to know that there are still parents out there that are teaching their children kindness, compassion, and sharing.  We also had Easter at my Aunt's house with my grandmother.  We had a great time.  What was even more fun was watching the little kids beat up on my baby cousin (not so much a baby-in college.) It was great seeing the children of the cousins pick up where the adult cousins left off.  lol  

April 8 brought my 8 year anniversary as a police officer.  It is hard to believe it has been that long.  I have developed some of the best friendships both with officers and non officers as a result of this job.  They are all people that I would have never met and I am truly blessed to have each one of them in my life.  These last few weeks have truly shown how much friendship means to these friends.  April 6th I felt awful so one of my best friends, Krista, was gracious enough to pick my son up from pre school, take him to kindergarten screening, then hang out with him the rest of the day.  

I have also been reminded about how much friendship means in this past week.  See, April 17 I ended up getting into an altercation at work after the suspect slipped her handcuffs off.  Without going in to too much detail, since the charges are not finalized yet, I ended up tearing my ACL.  Bascially when another officer and I went to place her on her stomach, I turned quickly with all of my weight on my left leg, heard a pop, and fell down the hillside.  An MRI this past Friday confirmed my worst fears....A completely torn ACL.  I have now been referred to an Orthopedist for news on what's next, but I have no doubt in my mind that surgery is in my near future.  I don't believe there is any amount of physical therapy that will heal this injury.  Right now I am on crutches and only able to place a small amount of weight on the injury.  I feel so helpless.  I feel so useless.  I am trying my best to stay busy and eat healthy so depression does not sink in.  I am trying to stay as active as possible so I do not gain a lot of weight.  I hate feeling so dependent on people.  I can't even get in and out of the shower alone because I cannot bend my knee to get in.   I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared.  I am scared and nervous about this.  Will my knee be the same after this?  Will I be able to play softball again?  Is my age going to hinder or delay my recovery?  I am also nervous and scared about the actual procedure.  I have NEVER been put under before.  I don't know what to expect and I am actually a little scared of it.  I know I have a lot of people praying for me and I will just have to give it all to God and know that he is in control.

As far as friends, I have received phone calls and text messages several times a day checking in on me.  I have friends that have taken me to appointments.  I have my neighbor, and best friend Lea, who has been taking the boys on the days they wouldn't normally be in daycare.  I have an amazing support system an I don't know what I would do without the.

So apparently the black lines on the right should be connected. Lol

Oh yeah... my 5 year old lost his first tooth!!!!!!  He didn't even cry.  What a strong guy!!!

To close out this blog post...here are 3 installments of why my kid is crying!!

I didn't take the "farm way" home

We didn't follow the U haul with the dinosaur on the side to its destination

He couldn't go to the dentist today

New Year....New post

Well the holidays are over and things are mostly back to normal.  I'm back on day shift at work, which I love since it allows me to spend my evenings at home with my family.  Thanks to my new SRO position, I may only have one more actual night shift rotation left before I begin the summer SRO schedule (which is park patrol) and then on to the school.  I am beyond excited to begin this new chapter in my life.

My excitement for being an SRO grew  by leaps and bounds while I attended a week long training to be "certified" or allowed by the State of Missouri to be an SRO.  I met some amazing officers that ranged from very urban and very rough to small town America.  It was a great group of people to work with for the week and I made a lot of great contacts and built some friendships while I was there.  We went through the basics like the history of the program and what we can and can't do with regards to FERPA (the school version of HIPAA.)  We also had a 2 day training mixed in dealing with identifying drug usage in a school setting.  It was a very informative training and it made some light bulbs click when we went over the signs and symptoms of a particular drug.  So many times  I have had someone that I have been dealing with either on a call or in custody and I just couldn't put my finger on what was different about this person.  This made so much more sense.  We also went over school safety and active shooter information.  I am so excited to have the opportunity to be a part of protecting the kids in our schools.  We all like to think that "it won't happen here" but I bet that's what every community that has had a school shooting has said.  No community is immune to the possibility of this happening.   We learned a lot about the new teaching of not so much locking down, but getting out if possible or even fighting back.  I have had a few tell me that it may be effective for older kids but there is no way an Elementary school aged kid would be able to fight back or know why they are doing what they are doing.  If that's your belief I think you are not giving these kids enough credit.  They are smarter than we think and I have no doubt in my mind that these kids could do this if they were taught to do it.  I know we will be teaching my children how to do this.  We were told that of the classroom of kindergartners that were murdered, 2 children survived...why...apparently they ran right past the sorry excuse for a human when he came in to the classroom.  This is why I think our kids are smarter than we give them credit for.

This was the thing I missed most while at training!

Not a whole lot has really been going on at work.  We had our yearly department Christmas party at which time I received a "life saving" award for a CPR save I had in 2014.  My squad mate also received one for a AED/CPR save he had on another call.  

I was recently asked to be a board member of the newly formed Chaplaincy group that was formed in my county/community.  Apparently they were looking for a female officer in the area and my name came up three separate times.  One of the people that brought my name up was someone that I had never met.  He knew of me through my brother who was in his Bible study group and he was very instrumental in helping my brother work through some issues that came up in his life.  The other two was a husband and wife couple who lead a local Cop ministry and who helped form this group.  I am very excited to be apart of this and look forward to where it may lead me!

I also sit back and think how blessed I am to have a very supportive group of people I work with, many of which I consider to be friends and not just co-workers.  Those are the ones that I trust, that I confide in.  The ones that I know would NEVER ask my to place my integrity on the line to lie for them when it is clear that the person talking to me already knows the answer to the question asked.  I don't know of too many other officers that would do any different.  Those that would ask me to do that are probably not friends and they can talk about me all they want behind my back.  I really don't care.  

With the new year arriving, it is now time for me to get my butt in gear and start helping our department's Explorer post raise some money so we can take them to the National Conference in Flagstaff, Arizona.  It should be a good time so hopefully we can raise enough to cover expenses so that some of the children don't have to be told that cannot go if their family cannot afford to cover the rest of the costs for their kids.  We have been very fortunate in years past that we have only asked our kids to pay  $50-$100 as a deposit so to speak so they have some financial investment in it and won't decide not to go at the last minute since the post has to pay whether they go or not.  Our kids have a really good time and we try to take them on some "adventures" in the areas we visit.  When we went to Ft. Collins, Colorado we spent a lot of time in the mountains it seemed.  On the way home we went to Pike's Peak.  I enjoyed it, but not as much as I could have since I was 12 weeks pregnant.  So anyway...we are working on some dine and donate things and a street collection so hopefully those pan out for us and we are successful.  Our kids work hard during the year being present at the downtown festivals to manage drink sales for the downtown association and they also make themselves available when someone has a community event and wants fingerprinting done for the children that attend.  They also work hard at the meetings soaking in all of the information we throw at them,  They work very well together and when it comes time for practicals, they do really well.  We are very proud of how hard they work and how well they work together.

Life on the home front has been exciting as of late.  Our biggest blessing is that we sold our first home that we had been renting out.  We were ecstatic that it was under contract about a month after listing it.  Everything went smoothly with the home inspection and the buyers and we closed on December 4!  Such a happy day.  Luckily the money we "made" helped bring us back to where were were financially before we lost over $3000 to our former tenants who have made no attempt to make good on their civil judgement despite their word that they would make payments but we really expected no less.    We also FINALLY completed a fence for our dog.  We tried so many things to contain him without putting up chain link but we finally had no choice.  For some reason the underground fence wouldn't work and he was terrified of the wireless fence.  In fact he jumped through it and ran away for a few days.  We didn't want to put the fence up at first because we didn't want to be "those" neighbors who came into the neighborhood and put a fence up when no one else near us had one.  Now we don't care, besides, our next door neighbor hates us we are pretty sure.  He glares at us and blames us for his water run off problems.  He wanted us to help him pay for a retaining wall because of the water that ran down from our yard (which also had water from the two houses above us) so instead my husband installed corrugated piping underground from the downspouts to carry the water to the street.  Wasn't good enough.  Then he was mad that the water was now running into his driveway and washing away his corner of mulch near the gutter.  He hasn't spoke 10 words to us since we moved in 2 years ago.  Oh well.  Our dog is happy as can be now that he has his fence.  He has the whole run of the backyard, but apparently spends the day staring across the street at our neighbors house looking sad.  

Speaking of our dog, we recently had a new water meter installed by the city so that they could remotely get the readings for billing.  Well I guess the city worker was also out there to see what residents hadn't "registered" their animals.  I guess they needed some way to help pay for the new water meters.  Wonder how many others got the same letter.  I hope the city doesn't spend those $2 in one place.  I am not opposed to the "fee," which is ridiculous by all accounts of local vets, but they could have gone about it differently.  Our small town is apparently the only one that does it anymore.  Seems like a waste of resources if you ask me.  That's okay, since they chose to address this in this manner, I have made it clear that no city employee (other than police on police business) is to be on our grounds (with the exception of their city right of way)  without both my husband and I being home.  


The tenth anniversary of my 21st birthday came and went.  My husband got me a pretty amazing gift...No sarcasm at all...he got me my very own Label maker.  He has no idea what kind of monster he has created.  There will be labels all over this house!  This is an OCD girl's dream.  We had a nice dinner at home with our good friends/neighbors.  And by nice dinner I mean we ordered pizza takeout from the local place in town since they were having an awesome special.  My parents came to the town I work in the next evening and took me out for dinner while I was at work.  I was blown away when our server came to me and told me that there was someone at the counter who wanted to buy a bowl of ice cream for me to thank me for what we do.  I was quite shocked. I went and thanked her and she said she would have paid for my meal had it not been paid for already (it was a pay then eat buffet style place.)  I felt honored that she did that for me.  I didn't need ice cream by any means, but I also did not want to be rude and deny it.   It felt very nice to be appreciated for what we do in this crazy world that we live in now where so many see us as a "goon" squad.  Our community has always been very supportive of our department and we didn't get a whole lot of the Ferguson effect even though we are a little over an hour away, at least not that I really noticed. 

And that brings us to Christmas.  Christmas was great.  I helped our 5 year old make Ninja Turtle Christmas ornaments for the tree we got for his room.  He had a blast and everyone we showed them to loved them.  

 We were also very blessed for the gifts our children received.  It was evident that they are truly loved and that we have so much to be thankful for.  I love the holidays just because that is the one time of the year that we are pretty much guaranteed to see everyone in the family.  We opened our home up to my mom's side of the family (which is the family I feel closest to and the cousins whom I consider to be more than cousins because I consider them some of my best friends.)  I love having everyone over.  It can be stressful but what family gathering isn't complete without a little stress.  Never in a million years would I have thought that our home could hold 30 people, mostly adults, without us all tripping over each other.  

I made some "candies" that I used to make with my mom when I was younger and I also made some cookies and made a peppermint bark that I saw on Pinterest.  It all turned out great!  I made too much and now I have cookies and "candies" all over that I won't eat since I have gone on my yearly "diet."  Speaking of diets...As of today....January 8. I am happy to say that I have lost 4 pounds just this week by cutting my calories and hitting the gym hard.  My goal is 25, so we shall see.  I am determined to get back to the weight I was at when I stopped nursing our youngest son.  I packed it on after I stopped despite cutting calories and working out.  It crept up and up to the tune of a 25 pound gain in 2 years.  I am not happy in my body and I don't want my boys to see me as their "big" mom, even though the people I am around say I don't look any different. I treated myself to a Fitbit Charge HR so I am hoping that keeps me motivated to do work.  Today I had 10,000 steps by 10:30 AM, but it probably helped that I spent an hour on the elliptical too.  

Our 5 year old got the two most important things he asked for...The Imaginext Transforming Bat Cave and a dancing/singing Snoopy from The Peanuts Movie...don't ask me...it was the random off the wall gift that he really wanted.  They also got some underwear and socks, some Transformer Rescue Bots, some Nerf guns and remote control cars, some Bubble Guppies toys, hot wheels and hot wheels tracks, clothing and pjs,the entire set of Goosebumps books (mine from when I was younger) and many others.   Our son is OBSESSED with Goosebumps, in fact it was one of the dates his daddy and I took him on.  His other date was the The Peanuts movie on Thanksgiving.  So we read 2 or 3 chapters a night from a book and he LOVES it!!!   I received a pair of beautiful diamond earrings from my husband, a Missouri State tote bag and Starbucks card from my Sister in laws, a 12 pack of essential oils and a book called Innocent Targets (a book concerning school safety with a section written by the great Lt. Col. David Grossman) from my Mother in law, an handmade wreath adorned with pink and purple ornament from my aunt and uncle (she said he made them all) and some cookbooks, and wine and other awesome goodies.  I bought my husband a new Amazon Fire tablet.  His Google Nexus finally gave out so he needed something to help him get through his long and uneventful trials at work.  

I am in love with my oils.  Just this week I bought a diffuser with a gift card I got for Christmas and we started diffusing lemon, lavender, and peppermint at night to help with the colds we had developed.  Not only did it make our room smell great, it helped us a lot.  I could tell as the day went on and I wasn't around them that my sinuses got worse.  I have now made myself a roller ball with that combination. I am so excited to get more oils so that I can have my own arsenal of oils for whatever ailment comes up.  I am also one step closer to being able to start making the lotions, soaps, and rollers that I previously talked about in an effort to make some money on the side.  

I have to put this in here, even though it does not flow at all with what I have already typed...as you have seen in other posts I participate in a site called Influenster.  I was chosen to receive their Jingle Bell Vox Box and I couldn't be happier.  It came with a coupon for a free bag of Ore Ida Potatoes, a Hallmark Itty Bitty that was Olaf from Frozen, a few packages of Biscoff biscotti biscuits, Kiss true volume fake eyelashes and the adhesive to place them, a small jar of Cetaphil lotion, NYC 24 hour eyeliner, and bottle of Blue Pure Ice nail polish.  Very cool stuff and I am happy with all of it.  I have not had a chance to use the eyelashes yet and I am not sure when I will, but I am sure they will look great when I do.  I can't really paint my nails because of work but I can paint my toes.  I was very happy with how fast it dried and how great it looked when it was on.  I also have to mention that all of those items were received at no cost to me to try and review.    If you want an invite send comment with your email address and I will send you one so you can join!!

That's all for now!!!