Catch up time!!!

So here it is...November....nearly 4 months since my last post.  I will apologize in advance for the long posting as I try to catch up and try not to miss good.

My summer started off decent I suppose.  For so many years I had been looking forward to attending the week long Regional Law Enforcement Explorer Academy in St. Louis as a level advisor.  It was all set and I was registered but then we fell upon a manpower issue at work and what I had been looking forward to was suddenly in jeopardy.  I was told that I could only go on my days off, but it seemed pointless to pack my bags for an overnight stay to have to come right back to work soon after.  Then we learned that the manpower issue was almost certainly going to be resolved because the release was almost certain to be signed by the doctor so I was told to pack for the week.  I was excited.  

I got to the academy on the evening of the start date after the kids had all checked in and were starting to wind down for the evening due to work, but that was no big deal.  I was ready for what was in store.  It was great.  One of our first morning sessions was to listen to various speakers on being prepared for the this job.  The most heart wrenching speaker we heard though was the mother of Kelli and Jessica Uhl.  These were two sisters that were killed in a horrible vehicle accident several years ago on Black Friday at the hands of an Illinois State Trooper who was driving far too fast and he was found to have been on his mobile computer and his cell phone moments before that fateful crash.  Their mother wasn't mad at police officers in general.  She told us she still respects us and in fact works with Below 100 giving presentations around the country to help officers see the consequences of bad decisions.  https://www.facebook.com/JessicaKelliUhl?_rdr=p

The activities continued.  The kids were taught defensive tactics, they were taught traffic stops, they particpated in roll plays, they ran an amazing obstacle course, and were taught some various movements by the St. Louis County SWAT team.  There was also some good ole Explorers vs Advisor kickball action too!  My week abruptly came to an end on my third night there.  I was told that the person that was supposed to get released by the doctor was not getting released and I would have to work the following night due to a manpower shortage.  I was upset but what could I do.  I packed up, turned my stuff in and left so I could prepare for my shift the following night.  Don't be fooled in to thinking it went as smoothly as that all sounds.  I was more than upset but there was nothing I could do except be upset since it wasn't going to change a thing.  On my way home I called my husband and told him what was going on.  He told me that was great (he missed me, and the boys were nuts!) buuuuuuut our dog ran away.  Crap.  Then I hit a possum on the highway.  Anything else????  

We posted on local Facebook sites that our dog was missing.  He was gone for almost 3 days I think when our amazing neighbors saw an ad on a Facebook yard sale site saying someone found this dog, which happened to be ours.  The lady wouldn't give our dog to our neighbor, which I understand, but I was sleeping and had NO clue this was even going on.  Eventually my neighbor got mad and went detecting in our tiny little town.  She sure did find the house, which was a decent ways from ours and our boy ran right to her van and jumped right in.  She kept him at her house until I woke up and told me the story.  He was physically okay.  Mentally....who knows.  That boy was nervous shedding chunks of fur all over her house.  I am almost certain she is still finding his fur in her house despite cleaning like a mad woman!!!  

August brought some fun events too!  We finally bit the bullet and bought a new truck.  We were to the point that we were sinking almost $600 a month into the other truck for electrical issues.  I finally told my husband that we needed to do something quickly before something major happens and his truck is worth NOTHING.  We started searching and the next night we found this beauty below.  We went to the dealer, test drove it, and a few hours later we were driving home in a 2013 Chevy Silverado LTZ Crew Cab truck.  We love it, and we Love Love Love the four doors.  My husband babies this thing more than I EVER saw him baby his old truck.  So yeah, we like it!

August also brought some news I had been waiting for.  I had been selected to test for the Maryland Heights PD despite the fact that I lived outside of the residency requirement.  I was excited!  I had been waiting for this for so long.  If I was selected for the open position I stood to make almost $25000 more a year!  I also would have had the opportunity for secondary employment to make a decent chunk more.  The test came and I did great!  I surprised myself with how well I did on the PT test.  I did as well as many of the kids that were still in the academy.  The afternoon I followed up with the written test, which was odd.  It was a video model.  I don't feel that test really showed what a police officer really knows about law enforcement.  It was hard because they were scenario based questions.  For a seasoned officer that is tough because one department may do things different than another department and policies on what to do also may be different.  It was hard to bring my mind down to academy level intelligence and forget what I would actually do in a situation.  I apparently did okay.  About a week later I was contacted and told I made in to the interview phase.  It was also a strange interview.  It was a group interview with me and 5 other applicants in front of a civilian police board.  We were asked questions by color.  We each got the same question and had a minute to answer.  I also was not a fan because it didn't provide me with the opportunity to show who I was because the questions were so vague and didn't really apply much to law enforcement.  I did okay. I was told I finished 9th out of over 30 applicants but they were only going to conduct a background on the first 6.  I was then contacted a few weeks later and told that they were going to begin a background investigation on me.  I never heard anything back, but that's okay, I ended up taking a better position within my current department anyway.  So I am staying put!

In August my husband and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary.  We spent a weekend in St. Louis, went to a ball game and stayed in a swanky hotel right next to the stadium.  Its hard to believe I have been married to this man for 6 years. He is a blessing in every way and the most amazing father I could ask for for our boys.  He is their hero!  Mine too!  We have had our ups and downs, mostly ups, but we are in this for the long haul!!

In late June we finally made the decision that our renters of our old house were way to behind in rent to us so we began the 30 day notice.  This eventually ended up in us taking them to civil court and winning a judgement of over $3000.00.  I hope to see the judgement someday as was promised, but I am not getting my hopes up until I see it.  I wish sometimes people could understand that we aren't some big company that can "afford" to not have rent.  We need that money to provide for our family.  I understand they have a family too, and we were willing to work with them if it was truly a financial issue but alas there was no luck.  They left the house the beginning of September and that house was listed with REmax in NO TIME.  We worked our tails off cleaning carpets, removing property left behind in the yard, planting grass, painting rooms and wall, staining the deck and just making it show ready!  We were discouraged at first because the buyers looking were not impressed with the house.  Finally we received an offer and I am so HAPPY to say we should be closing on the property in the next 2 weeks.  I am beyond excited to not have to worry about two mortgages anymore.  This has stressed me out beyond belief.  We have put more money on our credit card then I have ever done before and its not because we wanted to, its because we had to.  I will be so happy to take that money from the house pay off and pay this credit card to ZERO and be left with a mortgage and a truck payment for debt.  I can't stand debt!!!

As if I wasn't stressed enough I was at work one night and we got called to a house that we had been going to on a seemingly Regular basis for the last few weeks. It was a kid who had zero respect for any one, especially cops. We ended up detaining him for safety because of his sporadic actions and I was the one to do it. He pulled away and I regained control and detained him. When he was sitting on the ground the punk looked right at me and said that would have been easier if I was in better shape. I wanted to cry. No joke. I have struggled with my weight since middle school and I was now at a time where I was at my heaviest due to some medication changes and not nursing little dude anymore ( that part more of an accumulation.). It broke my heart. I had been trying. Was this what the other people in town thought of me. Am I just the fat girl cop?  I don't know... I am still working on it and hopefully someday I can look him in the face in a body I am comfortable with and say Ha!  

While all of this was going on I took a Mommy only trip to sunny San Diego to see one of my best friends.  I had been forward to this trip for months.  It had been planned since May!  It was great!  I rode in a taxi for the first time in my life to the airport so that was cool.    Did I miss my boys, Yes.  Did I enjoy my plane rides of peace and quiet and not having to worry about my energetic toddlers stomping on me or throwing a fit.  Oh YES!  That was ahhhhhhmazing!!  I think I even caught a nap!  I arrived in San Diego on 9-11.  It was obvious they were on high alert.  I don't know if this was normal but on this day, the San Diego PD did not look like someone to mess with.  There were officers posted in strategic locations with their patrol rifles ready to go...not slung.  They were prepared for anything.  

We got to my friends house and we all took a nice relaxing group snooze on the couch.  Just me, Elizabeth, and her two year old!  Peace and Quiet!  I woke up and she was gone.  Lol.  She came back with her teenage son and said she didn't want to wake me up.  So sweet.  I knew that was where she went, I just didn't realize it was that late.  We spent Saturday at Mission Bay Beach.  I also got to see another one of my friends and her family here.  I learned how to paddleboard as seen below.  It doesn't look difficult...but it is.  The amount of leg strength and balance needed astounded me.  I am happy to say that I didn't fall in once though.  The day at the beach ended with my friend's husband trying to throw me in to the water.  I think deep down he thought "she may be a cop, but I'm a guy...I can do this!"  He could not.  He did break my swimsuit clasp in the process though.  Oops.  I needed a new suit anyway.  The next day we chilled and watched the Chargers game.  I say we watched it.  I watched, they Yelled!!  Then it came time to leave.  I got to the airport, boarded my plane and flew to Phoenix for my connection.  Oh great...My already late arrival flight was now delayed 2 hours.  I did not into my nice comfy bed until almost 4 AM.  So much for an 11 PM arrival!  2 days later it was back to reality.

So funny work/dumb blonde moment story: What happens when you don't move your 31 "duty" bag away from the already turned patrol SUV tires?  Yep, you run over your bag.  As I was backing my SUV up to park it for the day since the shift was beyond over, I thought the wheels were straight and that I had plenty of room to back out and not run over anything. I had my bag, AED, and PBT all sitting near the passenger side.  I was basically being lazy and not wanting to carry 1000 things through the parking lot. As I back up I feel the tires go up on something and then I heard a loud POP.  CRAP!!!  I finished backing and expected the worst when  I looked.  All I could see was broken pink plastic.  Whew!  All I destroyed was my water bottle, not the important stuff.  I also blew out the side of my bag.  My coffee mug survived though, as did my ticket book...although it is a little bent up now.  I went to change then realized my tablet was in there.  I had a panic attack.  I opened it and shoot....the screen was shot.  There was no hope for it.  So long story short, we cancelled the contract on that tab and signed a new one so we could get an iPad for $50.  I like iPad's better anyway and I got to feed my 31 bags addiction with a new bag...so Win Win????

October brought us a huge blessing. We were contacted by a local police ministry who asked my husband and I if we would be willing to attend a law enforcement marriage seminar in Elkhart Indiana.  He sweetened the pot by telling us a couple at his church had graciously offered to pay for our hotel and conference registration. So we agreed. I would be lying if I said our marriage is perfect, because it isn't. This came at the most blessed time. We were in a rut and just couldn't seem to get out of it. A weekend away from the kids learning about coping with a law enforcement marriage was just what we needed. We had an amazing time. 

The conference was split between spouses and cops. It took the registration people a minute to realize that I was not just a spouse but an officer too. We sat with another local couple that was also sponsored by the church. The seminar was eye opening. The keynote speaker was Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. I don't know if you know who this man is but he is pretty much a legend and an idol in the police community. We learned about active shooter and why we shouldn't call them active shooters because shooters have skill that these mad men will never possess. We should refer to them as active murderers. Makes sense... That is what they are doing. He told us about the siege in Beslan when terrorists invaded an elementary school and killed so many innocent kids. This man was an amazing speaker and we were honored to have the opportunity to stand in his presence. We bought a few books that he autographed, each with a Bible quote of strength and determination. Then when he found out we were both in law enforcement and we were raising two small boys, he gave an autographed copy I his children's book called Sheepdogs. Grossman pioneered the sheepdog reference. The sheepdog (police/military) will always be there to protect the sheep (citizens) from the wolves (those who wish harm on the sheep) no matter what. A sheepdog is willing to risk their own life to save his sheep.  This man's words will stay with me forever. 

The following day was a fun day. A man that leads a police ministry in the Elkhart area conducted his annual law enforcement appreciation day. There was food galore, zip lines, rock walls, games for kids, spear throwing, and obstacle course, and of course some fun shooting. We both got to fire a 50 cal round which was pretty awesome!! We also got to shoot a modified 9mm that was full auto. It was so awesome. We left Indiana feeling blessed that we were able to attend this weekend with the help of friends and family. 

This is my husband and I with Lt Col Grossman. (Not a great pic of me but whatever) 

Check out these reads by Grossman. You will not be sorry. 

Below is my man shooting the 50 cal 

So I returned to work. I was training our new hire who had previous experience in southern Missouri. It was a day neither of us will soon forget. In both of our time as cops (about 8 years each) we had never received this call. 

"Respond to (address) for a chicken running at large. I thought he was going to crash the patrol car. We both looked at each other and had the same bewildered look. A chicken??  What?? Sure enough... We get in scene and there was a darn chicken running around the yard. He asked me what we should do. How should I know, I have never caught a chicken. You are the farm boy, you catch it. We decided to play detective and look for chicken coops instead and let the owners capture their own chicken. By the time we found the owner there were two chickens at large. End of story... They found their home. 

So November brought so many blessings to our family. I was told that beginning next year I would be the School Resource Officer for the middle school and take the place of the officer wanting to come back to the road. This was a blessing. This means a mostly m-f,8-4 job with a few weekends and fill ins here and there and most major holidays will be off as well. Summer's will consist of 12 hour shifts on park patrol duty which is pretty open to interpretation as we have parks all over town. In the summers I will lock bathrooms and handle any calls that originate in a local park. I go to training for a week at the end of this month!  

November also brought Veterans Day. I am astounded every day by our neighbors that we are new besties with. One day she watched the boys so I could go to an appointment and she found a canvas she had lying around so she had the boys put their handprints in a heart and then she had them give it to my husband for Veterans Day. Her oldest daughter also made him a few pictures to show her thanks. He loved it and was so touched that they thought of him in advance to do this type of craft. He also loved the pictures her daughter made. She is raising such a sweet and polite child!!

November also brings the start ooooofffff DEER HUNTING!! My hubs went out opening morning and killed this handsome fella below. The deer dropped in the water and when he got to him the only thing showing were his antlers so my hubs had to drag him by the rack out. He  was so proud. He is having the rack mounted!!  What was maybe the best of all of this... Someone reported my photo to Facebook for graphic violence. They didn't sustain it but still....really... Graphic violence. Since when does hunting to feed a family constitute graphic violence. Humans have been hunting animals since the human race began!  Hunting is a means of population control also so that the animals aren't overpopulated, diseases, and starving to death!! Besides... Deer is some darn good eatin!!! 

I will close this post out with a few little links that I have been working on.  I have recently signed up on two websites called instagc.com and mommyknowsurveys.com.  Each site allows you to take surveys or complete tasks in order to earn a buck or two here and there.  My goal is to earn enough between the two sites to give the kids a good Christmas since both can be redeemed for Amazon cards!  Here are the links:

instagc:  http://www.instagc.com/mindyschmelz

mommy knows surveys:  http://www.mommyknowssurveys.com/e/s.aspx?fid=18830359 

I was also chosen by Influenster to review the new Vicks Smart Temp thermometer for free.  I am not sure how I feel about it yet.  The only way to see the temperature is to have it bluetoothed to the app on your phone, there is no display on the unit.  If my kid is sick I don't want to deal with opening an app to see their temperature.  It does have cool features on the app though because you can create a profile for each family member and track their symptoms and temperature readings.  I guess that part is cool, I would just rather have a display on the unit as well.  It worked pretty easy once I figured it out so overall it's cool, but I don't know that I would spend $30 on it! 

Okay so I think that is about it.  Sorry for the short novel!  Hope yall enjoy.  Suggestions on things that you would like me to talk about in regards to my job are accepted.  I take what I do for granted but I know people always have questions!!!

Long time, no blog!

So I have clearly been MIA for the last few months, I apologize.  As I sit here now taking a sick day at work because sitting is super painful for me right now as is moving in general, I figured what better time to hop on my laptop and knock out a post!

So my last post was May 5.  WoW!  I can't believe it has been that long.  I am not sure where to begin but I will do my best.

We received a notice that yet again we have to switch doctors.  The practice we have been going to for the last 7 years is now closing since the doctors are both leaving.  We were so frustrated.  Our favorite doc from the practice left about a year ago to pursue her dream of teaching so we were just getting used to the other practice docs.  I think we found a good fit with our new practice though.  We have actually had really good success with them so far.  Best part is that they are also family practice so we can all go to one place!

So back to work...In early May I was contacted by radio by our Captain to come see him in his office.  Oh boy!  My mind is spinning now.  What could I have done to get me called in to Captain's office.  Here we go.  So I go in and immediately we start talking about how we have a range day coming up and he knows that I struggle with it.  But he tells me that he knows I have the physical ability to do it but unfortunately I get inside of my head too easily.  Remember, my "emotions" are the reason I lost the PPCT instructor position.  So he tells me that he has worked out a deal if I am open to it to go to some counseling at the City's cost and try to work through the mental roadblocks I have.  I hesitantly agreed, but deep down knew this was probably a good idea.

So I set up the first appointment with the counselor and spilled my beans.  I let loose.  I told him about things I have yet to tell my closest friends or parents.  I cried as I thought about how I thought I was "screwing" up our oldest son.  He tells me that all of my life experiences have brought me to this point but he believed I was dealing with a lot of anxiety.  He suggested I go to my doctor, which just happened to be the one he also recommended, and talk to them about getting on some sort of medication to help balance me.  So i went.  I was prescribed Effexor.  I went to the counselor for about another month or so and then it was time for the range.  Something I dread as soon as the email comes out that we are having range day.

I went in with a positive attitude and tried to remember the coping strategies we talked about in our sessions.  My first time on the line...I missed the pistol qualification by a few rounds.  But guess what.. I Smiled and said that's okay, I will get it in a few minutes.  I didn't get upset, I didn't cry or get angry with myself.  I came out with on the rifle course a few minutes later and shot a 49/50!  Success!  We then shot some more pistol drills and then I had my second chance at qualifying.  39/40!  IT WORKED!  I was so incredibly proud of myself and very pleased.  I really hope from this point forward that this is the normal for me!  Maybe I too will grow to love range day as much as everyone I work with!  The next week we did Defensive tactics training.  Again I had a great time.  Nothing like getting paid to "fight."

We had a great Mother's Day weekend.  We saw both sides of the family and the boys were in Heaven getting spoiled by nana and mamaw.  It was a very enjoyable day at my mom's house.  Whitney brought the Strawberitas and we polished off the box.  Clearly I am not a drinker.  I was definitely feeling those drinks!  Luckily Jason was with me to drive!

I decided after a 6 month hiatus to get back in to running.  What better way to start off a 6 month break then to jump out and run a 5k.  BAD IDEA!  It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either.  I ran it in 33.57.  Less than a week later I made the run in 29.42.  Still not my best, but a definite improvement.  I was then honored to be a part of the Special Olympics Torch Run.  4 from my department ran with about 15 from the county Sheriff's department.  It was a good time.  We had the longest stretch in the state apparently.  We had a 16 mile stretch.  I think I ran about 10-11 of the miles, not straight.  Had a few breaks.  I was so sore the next few days.  My body was not pleased with me, but I had a really good time doing it.  It was also a good chance to build some bonds with the deputies we work so closely with.  I haven't been running much as of late, but I have some events coming up that will be motivating me to get my booty out there and shape up!  I can't wait to see what the next few months holds for me!

Our oldest is still playing T-Ball.  He still mostly loves the dirt, but that it getting better,  He is growing in to a great hitter.  He normally hits lines past the infielders.  I couldn't be more proud of him and the progress he has made!

We are still going to therapy once a week for our oldest.  I treasure these times.  Normally they are mommy/son dates and he is such a good kid when it is just the two of us.  We have picnics in the car, go to the science center, and do one or two other things that he chooses.  If he is really good, we get to go get Fro yo.  For mommy that means getting fro yo with lots of yummy toppings.  For him, that means getting a LITTLE bit of strawberry fro yo then covering it with fresh fruit.  This kid is my healthy eater for sure!! 

I also used one of our "dates" and took him to the local bike rodeo.  He got to meet Fredbird and Rampage the Ram.  We were clearly much more excited about Fredbird!  He rode his bike so well, with training wheels of course.  He actually went slow on the slow course and he navigated the obstacles so well.  I am not sure when I gave this kid permission to grow up and become a little man!  He left there with a new helmet courtesy of Children's Hospital and mommy left there with 2 new car seats courtesy of Kohl's Cares.  My youngest son's car seat had duct tape holding the styrofoam on so they said no to to and gave us a new convertible seat for the little guy.  Our oldest is apparently too big to be harnessed in his current seat so they gave us a new booster.  Not sure how I feel about this yet.  He still falls asleep in the car and I don't feel safe with him in a booster so we may still end up getting a new Graco Nautilus that harnesses him to 65 pounds and keeping the other booster for when he is a little bigger.  He would probably be fine, but I am pretty strict when it comes to car seats!

Well, my grandmother finally made the decision to sell her house and most everything in it.  She decided to move in with my aunt so she could be close to family.  She wasn't there most of the time anyway and the house was way too big for just her.  So an auction was held for the possessions. Some stuff sold well, others, not so much.  It was bittersweet to see this happening.  This is what needed to happen. She needs to be with someone to watch over her, but there were so many memories at that house.  When my uncle and his kids lived downstairs we played video games and Power Rangers.  I gave Nathan a busted lip with a kick to the mouth.  We played in the tree house and played soccer and basketball in to moonlit hours.  There was no cell service out there and it was GREAT!  We had the chance to talk to each other because our noses were not buried in our phones.  We hunted Easter Eggs, we opened Christmas presents, we wrestled, and played and had a great time.  We played Phase 10 at the kitchen table until midnight.  Lord knows a game of Phase 10 does not simply stop,  haha.  I am really going to miss it there.  I don't think holidays will feel quite the same anymore, but who knows.  When one door closes another opens.  Now we have a new place to make memories and for our kids to make memories.

Remember how no one ever said life with boys was easy.  This couldn't be more true.  For a few weeks we had the sneaky suspicion that our oldest was peeing in the bathtub.  No matter how much we cleaned it still smelled of pee.  One day I moved a wash cloth in the tub and there was a yellow stain under it. For some reason I didn't put the two together.  I thought maybe the water got sour really fast.  I cleaned the tub and the smell went away.   A few days later I emptied water out of a tub toy and yellow came out.  I still didn't think about it.  Then a few days later I heard it.  He was peeing and I didn't hear liquid hitting liquid.  I heard liquid hitting the hollow bathtub.  He got in trouble and has since ceased peeing in the tub.  I don't know why he thought that was a good idea.  BOYS!!!  Boys are so gross!

May 23, 2015.  My mom called me.  She finally delivered the news that I had been expecting.  The last of our dogs had passed away.  Maggie, the bassett hound, passed in her sleep.  She was the last of the rambunctious trio.  I was sad, but yet I was glad.  She was in so much pain, both physically and mentally.  She was battling Cushings disease and had polycystic disease which meant she always had large cysts developing on her body.  She was emotionally hurting because in the last 2 years she watched her two best buddies leave and never return.  She was a different dog after Jasmine passed.  I am happy she isn't hurting anymore and I am happy to know that she is in puppy heaven with all of her friends.  Yes, I am 30, and I still believe in puppy heaven.  Pretty pathetic right?

Moving back to work...Luckily my shift was nearly over when this happened.  I was called downtown to meet with an event security guard who located a wallet.  I knew the owner so I pulled over to send her a message and let her know we had the wallet.  As I am sitting there, warning lights go off in the car and a message reads tire pressure low.  I select through the prompts to see mt right front tire pressure go 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.  CRAP!  I had to call my LT and let him know I have a flat tire at the riverfront.  We call a tow truck.  Rain was in the forecast but I was hoping we would be done before it was an issue,  Wrong!  As I see the tow truck make the turn towards me, the skies opened up and a downpour ensued,  I was drenched and smelled like a wet dog.  Yuck.  We got the car loaded up and back to the station.  Luckily I didn't have to stay in a wet uniform for too long!  Expect the unexpected right!?

So I walked in to work one night.  There were two books sitting in my mail slot.  They were books about Sensory Processing Disorder.  There was a note from the gifter, but it was not signed.  I was talking to the officer that was given the books to give to me.  He told me that apparently I had talked to this lady about my son's sensory issues and our struggles and she said her heart melted for me.  She brought me the books so I could have them help me as much as they helped her.  I could have cried.  This was one of the sweetest things a stranger has ever done for me.  To this day I do not know who she is.  I wish I knew.  I just want to thank her! She will never know what her kindness did for my heart and my feelings on people being generally good people.  To top that off, Jason and I went on a date the next night and our babysitters refused to let us pay them.  Our TEENAGE babysitters would not let us pay them.  Our jaws about hit the floor.  They finally agreed take half of what we pay them.  We could not believe it.  These are amazing kids.  We have totally hit the neighborhood jackpot.

Speaking of neighbors, the house across from us FINALLY sold.  We were leery.  Would they be good people?  Do they have kids?  Score.  They are amazing.  They have 4 kids, 3 of which are little girls.  Our littlest is in LOVE with the middle daughter.  He holds her hand and gives her hugs.  It is so sweet.  We have really hit off a great friendship with them.  Our dog loves them too.  I think he loves them more than us, especially right now because they don't have the evil electric fence.  We have dinners together, sit on the deck and talk after the kids go to bed for hours, our just talk in the front yards while the kids play. We could not be happier that we have hit it off so well with our new neighbors and friends,  I was just telling Jason how happy I was the other day that we made this move.  We have so much more family time because modern luxuries are not so close.  When we come home, we stay home normally.  The kids have played outside more this summer than they ever did in our old house.  We don't have to worry so much about cars flying up and down the street like the old home. Although we now get to deal with county vermin.  As the dog and I sat on the deck one night waiting for Jason to convince our oldest to go to sleep,the dog tears off the deck and goes after something in the yard.  I thought it was a rabbit.  He just looked at his kill.  I sent Jason a text that the dog just killed something by the shed.  Not two minutes later, here he comes with his 22 rifle locked and loaded.  He said its that damn possum and he's not dead yet.  We walk over and sure enough, it was playing possum.  Jason was just getting ready to shoot it when we see the light of flashlight friend coming down the deck in the hands of our oldest.  Clearly we aren't going to let him see this so we eventually convinced him to go inside and Jason shot the possum point blank.  It squirmed for a minute then it was done.  No problems since!   Everything is falling in to place!

For Father's Day we decided to take a family weekend to Branson.  We took the boys to Silver Dollar City.  It was just as I remembered it 14 years ago.  We had a blast.  Our oldest loved the splash pad and the Powder Keg roller coaster.  My little adrenaline junkie rode it 5 times!  They did so good there too.  They were up at 6 am that day, no naps, and went to bed at 11.  It was a fun day.  We even surprised the boys with a visit by nana and Aunt Sally at the park!  We also took them to the dinosaur museum which had over 50 life size dino replicas inside.  They were in love.  Best part was that our oldest barely had any meltdowns.

For July 4th we were blessed with All Inclusive tickets to watch the best team in the majors play baseball,  Yes, that's right, The St. Louis Cardinals.  We had a great time.  My parents took the boys for the night and took them to the fireworks.  We enjoyed adult conversation, good food, and good beer.  After wards we were on our way home when we realized we have no kids and we need to go watch a movie for once.  We saw Ted 2.  It was funny.  Not quite as funny as Ted, but still hilarious.  They even made a Ferguson, MO reference in there.  The next evening our neighbors brought over food.  The kids played in the pool and we shot off fireworks.  OUr oldest then broke all of the glow sticks so they would light up so she let us keep them.  We decided to make bathtime fun and had a glow stick bath!

Time to Relax

Welcome back and sorry for the delay.  My shift rotated back to nights so life in our house gets a little hectic.  This also means that I don't see my family much at all.  I essentially miss out on two months of my boy's lives at a time.  Mornings consist of me getting them ready for school and daycare and my days off consist of them going to daycare so that I can get a little sleep.  In a typical 2 week period, I probably see them for maybe 10 hours.  I hate it but I love what I do and it just comes with the job.  

So I left my last post mentioning that I was going to start coaching my son's T-Ball team.  It was against my better judgement but I went ahead and did it. His first practice went well.  We had a few kids missing due to illness but it went well.  The children listened well.  I discovered my kid is the kid on the team that loves to play in the dirt.  Of course, my kid...the coaches kid...ugh!  This does not bode well with my need to have things go perfect.  I wouldn't care if it was another kid, but really...the coaches kid. I had to miss the following week due to work but I was told by my assistant coach (who is a way better coach than me) that he has seen kids that love to play in the dirt, but my boy REALLY LOVES to play in the dirt.  The following week I picked my son up from school and he WAS IN A MOOD!  This carried over to practice.  I literally spent the whole practice disciplining him and trying to get him to pay attention.  Yes I yelled at him eventually but I stayed super calm with all of the other kids.  APPARENTLY one of the parents did not agree with my parenting skills and instead of being a mature adult and talking to me face to face, they chose to contact the league coordinator and complain about the way I treated my kid. One of the complaints was that they were not sure he was my kid that I was yelling at and they were also concerned that I MAY treat another kid that way.  Clearly it was my kid. I guess my son yelling at me "Mommy you're the worst coach ever" wasn't enough proof.  So I had to explain to the coordinator that my son has SPD and sometimes he gets out of control and it's hard to control. I told him he was more than welcome to explain that to the parent and he said that wasn't his place.  WHATEVER!  So I have made a handout explaining his SPD and hoping they will learn not to judge others from their perfect world.

We got to have dinner was some dear friends of mine from college that now live in town where he took at job as an ER doc at the local hospital.  We got over to their house (after the horrible practice) and we walked in the door to see a baby belly!  I was totally surprised!  She told me that they found out about a week after they were at our house in November that #2 was coming.  I am so happy for them!  

Later that week we went on vacation.  We left home at 8 PM, drove all night and had the boys sleep in their car seats.  When they woke up we were in Sevierville, Tennessee. 

 After stopping for breakfast we drove to Gatlinburg, TN and went to our resort. Thank goodness they were accommodating and let us check in early.  We stayed at Mountain Loft resort.  The room was super nice.  1 bedroom, 2 baths, granite counters in the kitchen.... it was nice.  We had a lot of fun with the boys.  One of the very first things we did was the Jurassic Adventure Ride.  This was a ride that takes you through a land of dinosaurs.  The boys loved it!

We stayed pretty busy all week.  We went to a show at The Comedy Barn and Caleb was asked to go on stage.  He was involved in a fake snake stunt.  He had a blast.  We went to the Darren Romeo magic show, drove through the Smoky Mountains and saw some bears, rode rides at The Island, rode more rides at a place on the strip in Pigeon Forge, rode some 2 person coasters through the woods, did some shopping,went to the Bush Baked Bean Factory, went swimming, Ripley's Smoky Mountain Aquarium, mini golfing, and went BACK to the Jurassic Ride because they asked about it AAAALLLLL week long.  The week would not have  been complete without a medical emergency.  Not from the child we expected either.

We were making rice crispie treats and Gabe we standing on his chair.  He lost his balance and fell, hitting the table on the way down.  When he hit the table, one of his teeth went all the way through his bottom lip leaving a hole, a lot of blood, and a crying toddler.  The nearest ER was 40 minutes away.  That was an ordeal.  2.5 hours later, we left.  I was not pleased.  They were not busy by their own admission and they took my boy last of all the people in the waiting room.  I am not dumb, I get how the waiting room works, but none of these people appeared to be in bad shape, meanwhile my kid with a hole in his lip is in the children's waiting room with a locked bookcase full of books that was just there for show and no toys.  We finally got out of there around 12:30 with 5 stitches total.  Our trip home was uneventful luckily.

This is the bookcase we couldn't use!

 Before stitches

That brings me to the present. Not too much going on at work or otherwise at home.  School is coming to a close so I am sure we will get busy. I have some stuff I am hoping to get started.  I am wanting to start making soaps, salves, and lotion using essential oils so I have some research to work on and see if this will be a worthwhile venture!  Here's to hoping!   Hope everyone has a great day!

Sorry, not sorry

For some reason I felt called to make this particular blog post, not to call people out for doing wrong or for people to feel sympathy towards me, but to just get some stuff off my chest that I think about more often than I should and to maybe help others understand why I feel the way I do sometimes.  Also so that we can help our kids understand that our words have consequences even though they may not see it.  I am not saying I was bullied by any means, I just had some unfortunate things happen that sometimes affect me to this day.  I hope I never hear that my boys were on the giving end of some of these instances and I hope I can teach them right from wrong and to respect everyone, even if they don't like them very much. Unfortunately I have already witnessed Caleb being on the receiving end of a rude little child.  While walking into school my sweet little guy said hi to another kid.  The kid's response was "Hi Stinky!"  He wasn't being playful, he was being hateful and mocking Caleb for having accidents at school sometimes because sometimes he doesn't feel it because of his SPD.  Luckily Caleb didn't hear it, but my brother (who was dropping my niece off) and I heard it as did the child's mother who made him apologize.  Caleb didn't know why he was apologizing and I am okay with that, but one of these times he is going to hear it and its going to hurt him.  He is starting to understand his feelings and those words spoken by a 5 year old confirmed my worst fears for my baby boy.  This also was not the first time this kid had been rude to Caleb, yet Caleb still wants to be his friend and have him come over to play.  Forgiveness!

As I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed yesterday I came across 2 postings from Buzzfeed asking men and women to share their reaction to the first mean thing that was ever said to them about their bodies. Well this resonated with me and made me think about the things that were said/done to me in my teenage years that made me lose a lot of respect for certain people. 

The first incident is something I remember like it was yesterday, even though I was in 7th or 8th grade. We were at a school dance and I finally worked up the nerve to ask a boy to dance with me. I walked over to Wayne Allemann and asked him if he would dance with me. His response, in front of all of his friends, was something that hurt so much that all I could do was walk away numb. I couldn't even cry. I was just numb. He said "Hell no, my dog wouldn't even dance with you!" and he and his friends proceeded to have a good laugh at my expense. Why did he have to say that to me?  Sure I was overweight but I like to think I wasn't that horrible looking to elicit that sort of response.  Life went on and we went through the rest of our high school career. He most likely forgot what he said but I still did/do remember. It made me not trust men. The amazing thing was that he saw me my sophomore year of college, after I had lost 60 pounds and wanted to chat with me at the gas station like nothing horrible had ever been said to me. Did he really not remember what he said.... No he probably didn't because it didn't hurt him and they were just words. 

Then came an event between someone that I thought was my friend at the time. Erin was dating a guy named Keith. Keith had a brother named Bryan and she convinced me that Bryan liked me and gave me his phone number to call. I was naive so sure, I called and called and called. He never answered the phone and Erin finally told me about a week later that she made it all up and I was pretty pathetic for believing that a guy actually liked me. Why?  Why would my "friends" do that to me.  How hateful of a thing was that to do to someone that was supposed to be your friend. I continued to be friends with her despite her stabbing me in the back every few months throughout school. I so badly wanted to fit in and have friends that I would just be sad about something for a little bit, suck it up, and continue like nothing ever happened. I didn't want to be the girl that had no friends so I allowed people to verbally jab me at every chance they got. 

I learned not to trust people. I learned to keep people at arm's length and not allow them fully in to my life. I settled into relationships that weren't necessarily right for me but I wanted to be with someone and I didn't want to be alone that I "settled."  For a year and half I "settled" with someone that I thought cared about me.  I forgave him for cheating on me because he "missed" me so much. Deep down I thought I could do better but years and years of being put down led me to stay just so I wouldn't be alone. 

I never knew where I fit in growing up, and to be honest I still don't have a clue. In school I was a good athlete, drama need, choir geek, and straight A student yet I was never fully accepted into a single one of those groups. I wasn't invited to places with anyone. I was a loner and the ass of most jokes that eventually got back to me. I bottled my emotions inside so often until I exploded at something so minute that I looked like some crazy woman getting upset over whatever it was. No one understood me or why I behaved that way but then again they didn't really care. To this day I bottle my feelings up until it's too late and something so small, so stupid happens that it all spills out and then I am seen as some emotional woman. I can control it when I need to (on calls at work) but sometimes I am left bottling in until I can come home and fall Intoy husbands arms. My husband... The first man that I could ever trust. The person that is always there for me and never putse down. The man that supports all of my decisions 110% and doesn't question why I'm acting so silly over something stupid. Yes, this man that I married and had children with finally allowed me to let me guard down and let him into My life.

I'm sure I will get teased for this at work or by other who read it, but I am to the point that I don't give a rats ass.  If you feel the need to poke and prod at me because I spilt out my feelings then you are no true friend of mine and are no better than the people I have already written about. 

All of these events have shaped my confidence (or sometimes my lack thereof.). I so badly want to be accepted by my peers, even at 30 years old that I want to be the best and do my best. When I don't i get upset with myself and my confidence goes in the gutter because on my head, I think everyone is laughing at me for wing a screw up. 

The only people I have ever been able to count on to be there for me in my life are my family, specifically my cousins. We are all different in our own rights and had our own sets of friends but we all just get each other. There was the skinny popular cheerleader, and the jock, and the two non conformists whom everyone respected, and me-the loner. We could all be together and none of the outside world mattered. We are all grown now with "adult" jobs but we still try so hard to make time for each other. We have a relationship that my husband thinks is crazy because he has never seen a group of cousins as close as us. How many friends do I still have from school... ZERO!  Sure I am still acquaintances with some people and with my maid of honor but in the end her life and my life have put so much  distance between is that we haven't seen each other since Caleb was 4 weeks old.   I feel like even as an adult I am quite the loner. I maybe have 3 or 4 close friends but I guess with having a young family I lose sight of what it means to be a friend and lose sight of what friends are supposed to do for each other.   Maybe that needs to be something if should work on. I need to work on keeping people close to me that I care about and nurturing those relationships. I also need to stop allowing negativity into my life. 

So wow!  That felt good to get off my chest and now I can actually talk about my life. 

Jason and I just spent an amazing kid free weekend together at Big Cedar in Branson. After the weeks we had both had, this was truly needed. We met up with two of his Marine Corp buddies and had a great time. We ate at a place called BillyGails and had the biggest pancakes and French toast i had ever seen. We were full got hours. I would highly recommend going there if you are ever down in that neck of the woods. 

I even got my new Coach purse!!!  It only cost my cheap butt $12!  I had a gift card from coach because they couldn't repair my old one and the value ended up being twice as much as we even paid for the first purse. Then I had a gift card from my birthday so in the end, I paid $12! Not bad if I do say so myself. We finished the weekend with a trip to Bass Pro Shop because no trip to that area is complete without stopping there. I managed to snag some Under Armour socks and shirt using gift cards from Bluegreen resorts for sitting through their timeshare presentations so I still didn't spend any money!  

So I got to go to a pretty awesome training that through work where I learned all about Synthetic Cannabinoids (K2) and bath salts.  I definitely knew these things were bad news, but HOLY MOLY!  This stuff is no joke.  Think about this...some stoner dude is the one responsible for spraying the chemicals on the plant material you are about to smoke and he's making it in a pyrex dish in his kitchen..pretty scientific if you ask me!  Teens are ending up in ERs across the country and what's even more scary is that US citizens are apparently helping fund terrorism through their purchases of k2 and bath salts.  A small gas station in Alabama was raided and they were found to have wired 40 MILLION dollars to Yemen!  Just imagine how many others are still doing this on a larger scale.  The guy in Florida that attacked the homeless man and ate his face... alleged to be bath salts but the half life of the drug was not able to be detected in his system at the time of the autopsy.  He wasn't eating his face either, there was no skin found in his stomach, he was just tearing it away.  HORRIBLE.  There are so many stories of violence that comes from the use of bath salts that I won't even go into detail, but if you are curious, just google it.  K2 isn't much better.  I know of a kid in my town specifically that said he had a horrible experience after smoking it.  He carved an Anarchy symbol in to his leg and saw fire and the devil.  He was legitimately scared for quite some time after that.  Sur the package says that its "legal" and "not for human consumption" but lets be real, when is the last time you spent 60 bucks on a gram of bath salts or 50 bucks on a small package of "incense."

Changing thoughts...

I was able to pull a small amount of meth off of the streets a few weeks ago and in turn got a rare positive Performance Observation form for looking beyond the reason I was called and for locating the narcotics.  After some of the grief I got from that call, it was very rewarding to be recognized for doing my job and doing something well.  That was followed up with an additional "way to go" after some unreported stolen property was recovered from a subject that had been reported to be going through cars.  We don't do the job to get a pat on the back, but it definitely makes you feel good when your work is recognized!

Next week I get to start coaching Caleb's tball team...wish us luck!  I am sure there will be some stories to follow here!

I think that is all for now...I need to plan out our menu for the month and get a grocery list together before hubs comes home from work!  The trick this month is budgeting to account for lost income from our rental property.  Hopefully the house will sell quickly and I won't have to be stressed over money anymore!

All in a Day's work (or a few)

So it's been over a month since my last post.  I found out after my last post that I must not have actually been sick since I was able to write a blog and be on Facebook after I went home sick.  Apparently going home sick from work means I cannot access the internet through my phone or laptop.  I didn't sleep that night despite being sick because I was tending to the other sickies in the house and was afraid to sleep for fear of not seeing/hearing the 4 year old get sick despite me being right next to him.  Oh well.  In the end I know I was sick and that should be all that matters.  So what if I was on facebook or writing a blog to pass the time.  I didn't know that was against the rules of being sick.  It's hard to know the "rules" of being home sick when the last sick day I took at work aside from my maternity leave was almost 5 years ago.  I don't take sick days so I didn't know. 

 We celebrated our youngest son's 2nd birthday and it was a "Bubbletastic" birthday party.  We, and by we I mean Gabe, is obsessed with Bubble Guppies.  I don't mean he likes to watch it here and there...NO, he has to watch it ALL  THE  TIME.  I have the words to these shows memorized.  There are only so many episodes a person can watch!  When one episode is over, he brings the remote over and asks for more Bubble.  If we don't do it right away he throws the remote at your face.  It is literally his addiction so why not throw a Bubble Guppies birthday!  It was fun.  He got more toys, and some clothes.  We also got to watch 3 grown men attempt assembly on a plastic Ninja Turtle Scooter!  We all had a good time that day, but apparently the sickness I previously wrote about had not yet exited our house, despite a deep disinfecting that was enacted upon it.  I found out over the next few days that about 10-12 of the adults present apparently all got the "bug."  I felt awful for that... thought it was gone!

I got some of the photographs back from my best friend's wedding that she asked me to be a bridesmaid in.  I am in LOVE with one of the photos that was taken of my oldest son and me dancing!  I just have to share it.  And one of the mister and I too!  I can clean up okay when I want to, I just normally choose not too!

I think one of the most truly amazing things that I have ever witnessed happened on February 17.  It was a normal morning.  We were sitting in front of the computers typing up reports before calls started coming in.  Around 6:30 we heard EMS get dispatched to a residence for an imminent birth.  My partner was dispatched but I went too due to the nature of the call.  There was snow and ice on the ground and we knew where the ambulance was coming from so it was a real possibility we would get there first.  As luck would have it, EMS pulled up right behind us.  We were directed upstairs and in the hallway the soon to be mother was laboring and the baby's head had already crowned.  Yep, this was definitely not going to happen at the hospital.  So the paramedic talked her through the delivery and she had a healthy boy.  While the other medics tended to the baby, I held her hand while she finished the rest of the delivery.  I had to chuckle though, the medics prepared to start her IV and she was worried about how bad the needle was going to hurt.  I reminded her that she just delivered a child without an epidural or any pain medication so I doubt the needle would be too bad.  She realized the reality of what she just did and she had a small laugh as well.  It was truly an amazing experience to be a part of.  

I have recently realized the realities that small town policing brings.  For example, my partner and I were dispatched to residence for a cat stuck behind an armoire. We didn't both go because we were bored, but the CAD insisted this was a 2 officer call.  2 officer calls are usually reserved for serious stuff, so apparently this had to be serious, lol.  We get there, free the cat, then play moving company while the dressers were moved no less than 3 times to make sure they would be in a position that would prevent the cat from getting stuck again.  

And if that wasn't enough, a few days ago I got dispatched to one of the highways that runs through town for a report of cows on the road.  Yes.  Cows.  So I go and hear my SGT go in route too.  I then hear my other partner ask if he should respond as well.  Oh the thoughts that were racing through our heads.  This is the same guy that may or may not have shot an "escaped" cow several times with an AR-15 that ran off of the truck at the meat processor before it was finally taken out by the farmer with a shotgun.  The newspaper caught wind of that episode and there was some drama in town over it for a minute.  So fast forward to this call....we chose to take the high road and not joke with him on the radio.  We get to the property we think they came from and turned on to the drive.  They were no longer on the road, but standing in the yard and the driveway, we saw about 20 cows.  They had knocked down a section of fence.  They all got herded back to the fence and the fence was secured all without a single shot being fired!  lol.  

I now want to jump on my soapbox for a minute... When you see a police officer on the side of the road with their red and blue lights flashing, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE switch lanes.  If that is not possible, I beg of you, SLOW DOWN.  I made several traffic stops yesterday on a major highway through town.  I counted at least 12 cars that were too busy or too unaware of their surroundings to slow down or change lanes.  Many of these cars passed within a foot of me or my patrol vehicle.  One car in particular drove on the white line until he was about 20 feet away from the rear of my car where I was sitting before he swerved.  All I could think was "This is going to hurt!"  So again, I beg of you...PAY ATTENTION.  Please do not be the reason that I don't get to go home to my family at the end of the day because you were just SOOOOO BUSY that you couldn't slow down for 5 seconds to make sure that you didn't hit me with your car.  IT IS THE LAW.....MOVE OVER!!!!!!

Things on the home front have been good.  We celebrated Valentine's Day by taking a tour of Busch Stadium and then walking around Ballpark Village.  It was fun but Ballpark Village really wasn't my thing.  I don't drink so I can't see me having fun there.  It seemed to me that it was just a big collection of drinking establishments.  We also went to an Italian restaurant that my husband had never been too.  It was good, but not our favorite.  The boys had a date with Nana.  They loved it.  They are in Heaven when they spend time with their grandparents.  It is so comforting knowing that these boys are surrounded by love and by people who truly care about them.  It sets my mind at ease knowing that they will be in good hands should the unthinkable happen to us.  With our jobs, it obviously always a possibility no matter what size of town you work in.  

Especially as of late.  My thought turn to Ferguson.  Yes we all know about what happened that fateful day in August when Darrin Wilson was faced with the ultimate decision to go home at the end of his shift or to take action against an adult male that was trying to take his gun.  We all know the decision he made and the aftermath of what happened. What I don't understand is that how, 9 months after this happens, the "protesters" choose to start shooting cops.  They are getting what they want and so they will continue to protest as long as they think they are getting "change."  They show up at the PD to protest as Chief Jackson announced his resignation and then that night out of no where, shots rang out and two officers were down.  One shot in the shoulder and the other in the face.  Neither officer was from Ferguson.  They were there to help as they have done since August.  SO WHY???  WHY SHOOT THEM NOW???  All I can say is that these two men had some angels on their side.  The one that was shot in the face had a 223 round deflected by his riot helmet.  The round went under his eye and allegedly lodge near his ear.  They were both treated and released to their homes just hours after being shot. 

Through all this what I cannot wrap my mind around is their chant that Black lives matter.  Where have the protests in been when day after day we hear about young black males being gunned down in the streets by members of their own race.  Where were the protests and outrage when 4 black cops were murdered in the last several weeks while doing their job.  WHERE WAS THE OUTRAGE when hours earlier a 5 year old black child was shot in the chest and pronounced at the hospital in St. Louis.  A child that the muni officers tried so hard to save.  They even put the child in the back of their patrol vehicle and transported him to the hospital because they knew the ambulance was too far away and he didn't have that kind of time left.  He died, but there was no looting.  There was no protesting. There was no outrage.  WHY??  I try to see the logic behind this and I have tried so hard through all of this to be understanding.  I am just struggling to find the logic in all of this.  The protests and outrage only seem to happen when there is a police officer involved.  

I could continue, but I won't.  My husband will be home soon and we are going to go volunteer our time at the VFW fish fry while the boys have some quality mamaw and papaw time!