So my last post was May 5. WoW! I can't believe it has been that long. I am not sure where to begin but I will do my best.
We received a notice that yet again we have to switch doctors. The practice we have been going to for the last 7 years is now closing since the doctors are both leaving. We were so frustrated. Our favorite doc from the practice left about a year ago to pursue her dream of teaching so we were just getting used to the other practice docs. I think we found a good fit with our new practice though. We have actually had really good success with them so far. Best part is that they are also family practice so we can all go to one place!
So back to work...In early May I was contacted by radio by our Captain to come see him in his office. Oh boy! My mind is spinning now. What could I have done to get me called in to Captain's office. Here we go. So I go in and immediately we start talking about how we have a range day coming up and he knows that I struggle with it. But he tells me that he knows I have the physical ability to do it but unfortunately I get inside of my head too easily. Remember, my "emotions" are the reason I lost the PPCT instructor position. So he tells me that he has worked out a deal if I am open to it to go to some counseling at the City's cost and try to work through the mental roadblocks I have. I hesitantly agreed, but deep down knew this was probably a good idea.
So I set up the first appointment with the counselor and spilled my beans. I let loose. I told him about things I have yet to tell my closest friends or parents. I cried as I thought about how I thought I was "screwing" up our oldest son. He tells me that all of my life experiences have brought me to this point but he believed I was dealing with a lot of anxiety. He suggested I go to my doctor, which just happened to be the one he also recommended, and talk to them about getting on some sort of medication to help balance me. So i went. I was prescribed Effexor. I went to the counselor for about another month or so and then it was time for the range. Something I dread as soon as the email comes out that we are having range day.
I went in with a positive attitude and tried to remember the coping strategies we talked about in our sessions. My first time on the line...I missed the pistol qualification by a few rounds. But guess what.. I Smiled and said that's okay, I will get it in a few minutes. I didn't get upset, I didn't cry or get angry with myself. I came out with on the rifle course a few minutes later and shot a 49/50! Success! We then shot some more pistol drills and then I had my second chance at qualifying. 39/40! IT WORKED! I was so incredibly proud of myself and very pleased. I really hope from this point forward that this is the normal for me! Maybe I too will grow to love range day as much as everyone I work with! The next week we did Defensive tactics training. Again I had a great time. Nothing like getting paid to "fight."
We had a great Mother's Day weekend. We saw both sides of the family and the boys were in Heaven getting spoiled by nana and mamaw. It was a very enjoyable day at my mom's house. Whitney brought the Strawberitas and we polished off the box. Clearly I am not a drinker. I was definitely feeling those drinks! Luckily Jason was with me to drive!
I decided after a 6 month hiatus to get back in to running. What better way to start off a 6 month break then to jump out and run a 5k. BAD IDEA! It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. I ran it in 33.57. Less than a week later I made the run in 29.42. Still not my best, but a definite improvement. I was then honored to be a part of the Special Olympics Torch Run. 4 from my department ran with about 15 from the county Sheriff's department. It was a good time. We had the longest stretch in the state apparently. We had a 16 mile stretch. I think I ran about 10-11 of the miles, not straight. Had a few breaks. I was so sore the next few days. My body was not pleased with me, but I had a really good time doing it. It was also a good chance to build some bonds with the deputies we work so closely with. I haven't been running much as of late, but I have some events coming up that will be motivating me to get my booty out there and shape up! I can't wait to see what the next few months holds for me!
Our oldest is still playing T-Ball. He still mostly loves the dirt, but that it getting better, He is growing in to a great hitter. He normally hits lines past the infielders. I couldn't be more proud of him and the progress he has made!
We are still going to therapy once a week for our oldest. I treasure these times. Normally they are mommy/son dates and he is such a good kid when it is just the two of us. We have picnics in the car, go to the science center, and do one or two other things that he chooses. If he is really good, we get to go get Fro yo. For mommy that means getting fro yo with lots of yummy toppings. For him, that means getting a LITTLE bit of strawberry fro yo then covering it with fresh fruit. This kid is my healthy eater for sure!!
I also used one of our "dates" and took him to the local bike rodeo. He got to meet Fredbird and Rampage the Ram. We were clearly much more excited about Fredbird! He rode his bike so well, with training wheels of course. He actually went slow on the slow course and he navigated the obstacles so well. I am not sure when I gave this kid permission to grow up and become a little man! He left there with a new helmet courtesy of Children's Hospital and mommy left there with 2 new car seats courtesy of Kohl's Cares. My youngest son's car seat had duct tape holding the styrofoam on so they said no to to and gave us a new convertible seat for the little guy. Our oldest is apparently too big to be harnessed in his current seat so they gave us a new booster. Not sure how I feel about this yet. He still falls asleep in the car and I don't feel safe with him in a booster so we may still end up getting a new Graco Nautilus that harnesses him to 65 pounds and keeping the other booster for when he is a little bigger. He would probably be fine, but I am pretty strict when it comes to car seats!
Well, my grandmother finally made the decision to sell her house and most everything in it. She decided to move in with my aunt so she could be close to family. She wasn't there most of the time anyway and the house was way too big for just her. So an auction was held for the possessions. Some stuff sold well, others, not so much. It was bittersweet to see this happening. This is what needed to happen. She needs to be with someone to watch over her, but there were so many memories at that house. When my uncle and his kids lived downstairs we played video games and Power Rangers. I gave Nathan a busted lip with a kick to the mouth. We played in the tree house and played soccer and basketball in to moonlit hours. There was no cell service out there and it was GREAT! We had the chance to talk to each other because our noses were not buried in our phones. We hunted Easter Eggs, we opened Christmas presents, we wrestled, and played and had a great time. We played Phase 10 at the kitchen table until midnight. Lord knows a game of Phase 10 does not simply stop, haha. I am really going to miss it there. I don't think holidays will feel quite the same anymore, but who knows. When one door closes another opens. Now we have a new place to make memories and for our kids to make memories.
Remember how no one ever said life with boys was easy. This couldn't be more true. For a few weeks we had the sneaky suspicion that our oldest was peeing in the bathtub. No matter how much we cleaned it still smelled of pee. One day I moved a wash cloth in the tub and there was a yellow stain under it. For some reason I didn't put the two together. I thought maybe the water got sour really fast. I cleaned the tub and the smell went away. A few days later I emptied water out of a tub toy and yellow came out. I still didn't think about it. Then a few days later I heard it. He was peeing and I didn't hear liquid hitting liquid. I heard liquid hitting the hollow bathtub. He got in trouble and has since ceased peeing in the tub. I don't know why he thought that was a good idea. BOYS!!! Boys are so gross!
May 23, 2015. My mom called me. She finally delivered the news that I had been expecting. The last of our dogs had passed away. Maggie, the bassett hound, passed in her sleep. She was the last of the rambunctious trio. I was sad, but yet I was glad. She was in so much pain, both physically and mentally. She was battling Cushings disease and had polycystic disease which meant she always had large cysts developing on her body. She was emotionally hurting because in the last 2 years she watched her two best buddies leave and never return. She was a different dog after Jasmine passed. I am happy she isn't hurting anymore and I am happy to know that she is in puppy heaven with all of her friends. Yes, I am 30, and I still believe in puppy heaven. Pretty pathetic right?
Moving back to work...Luckily my shift was nearly over when this happened. I was called downtown to meet with an event security guard who located a wallet. I knew the owner so I pulled over to send her a message and let her know we had the wallet. As I am sitting there, warning lights go off in the car and a message reads tire pressure low. I select through the prompts to see mt right front tire pressure go 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. CRAP! I had to call my LT and let him know I have a flat tire at the riverfront. We call a tow truck. Rain was in the forecast but I was hoping we would be done before it was an issue, Wrong! As I see the tow truck make the turn towards me, the skies opened up and a downpour ensued, I was drenched and smelled like a wet dog. Yuck. We got the car loaded up and back to the station. Luckily I didn't have to stay in a wet uniform for too long! Expect the unexpected right!?
So I walked in to work one night. There were two books sitting in my mail slot. They were books about Sensory Processing Disorder. There was a note from the gifter, but it was not signed. I was talking to the officer that was given the books to give to me. He told me that apparently I had talked to this lady about my son's sensory issues and our struggles and she said her heart melted for me. She brought me the books so I could have them help me as much as they helped her. I could have cried. This was one of the sweetest things a stranger has ever done for me. To this day I do not know who she is. I wish I knew. I just want to thank her! She will never know what her kindness did for my heart and my feelings on people being generally good people. To top that off, Jason and I went on a date the next night and our babysitters refused to let us pay them. Our TEENAGE babysitters would not let us pay them. Our jaws about hit the floor. They finally agreed take half of what we pay them. We could not believe it. These are amazing kids. We have totally hit the neighborhood jackpot.
Speaking of neighbors, the house across from us FINALLY sold. We were leery. Would they be good people? Do they have kids? Score. They are amazing. They have 4 kids, 3 of which are little girls. Our littlest is in LOVE with the middle daughter. He holds her hand and gives her hugs. It is so sweet. We have really hit off a great friendship with them. Our dog loves them too. I think he loves them more than us, especially right now because they don't have the evil electric fence. We have dinners together, sit on the deck and talk after the kids go to bed for hours, our just talk in the front yards while the kids play. We could not be happier that we have hit it off so well with our new neighbors and friends, I was just telling Jason how happy I was the other day that we made this move. We have so much more family time because modern luxuries are not so close. When we come home, we stay home normally. The kids have played outside more this summer than they ever did in our old house. We don't have to worry so much about cars flying up and down the street like the old home. Although we now get to deal with county vermin. As the dog and I sat on the deck one night waiting for Jason to convince our oldest to go to sleep,the dog tears off the deck and goes after something in the yard. I thought it was a rabbit. He just looked at his kill. I sent Jason a text that the dog just killed something by the shed. Not two minutes later, here he comes with his 22 rifle locked and loaded. He said its that damn possum and he's not dead yet. We walk over and sure enough, it was playing possum. Jason was just getting ready to shoot it when we see the light of flashlight friend coming down the deck in the hands of our oldest. Clearly we aren't going to let him see this so we eventually convinced him to go inside and Jason shot the possum point blank. It squirmed for a minute then it was done. No problems since! Everything is falling in to place!
For Father's Day we decided to take a family weekend to Branson. We took the boys to Silver Dollar City. It was just as I remembered it 14 years ago. We had a blast. Our oldest loved the splash pad and the Powder Keg roller coaster. My little adrenaline junkie rode it 5 times! They did so good there too. They were up at 6 am that day, no naps, and went to bed at 11. It was a fun day. We even surprised the boys with a visit by nana and Aunt Sally at the park! We also took them to the dinosaur museum which had over 50 life size dino replicas inside. They were in love. Best part was that our oldest barely had any meltdowns.
For July 4th we were blessed with All Inclusive tickets to watch the best team in the majors play baseball, Yes, that's right, The St. Louis Cardinals. We had a great time. My parents took the boys for the night and took them to the fireworks. We enjoyed adult conversation, good food, and good beer. After wards we were on our way home when we realized we have no kids and we need to go watch a movie for once. We saw Ted 2. It was funny. Not quite as funny as Ted, but still hilarious. They even made a Ferguson, MO reference in there. The next evening our neighbors brought over food. The kids played in the pool and we shot off fireworks. OUr oldest then broke all of the glow sticks so they would light up so she let us keep them. We decided to make bathtime fun and had a glow stick bath!
