So not too much has happened work wise that I can talk about. What I can talk about is an amazing man I met while I was on a run through our neighborhood. I had literally just began my 5k run, I was about a block in, when I saw an older gentleman in a motorized wheelchair/scooter messing with an orange traffic cone that had fallen over. Everyone in the neighborhood has seen this cone since the city hasn't seen fit to repair the gaping crack it is set on to warn drivers. The top of the cone had fallen off of the base and the man was making a valiant attempt to replace it so a vehicle did not strike the hazard in the road way. I saw him struggling with it so I approached him and asked if he needed help. I was hoping and praying he wasn't going to be a grumpy old man that was too proud to take help when asked. This man was quite the opposite. He told me what he was trying to do and then he told me how I needed to put it on.
Well, being the woman that I am, I didn't listen and I chose to do it the efficient "right" way. I snapped it on the base and was done in 3 seconds. He looked at me with amazement and asked how I knew how to do that so quickly. I stated "Easy, I'm a woman, we know how to do everything!" He found this to be quite humorous. He then asked to see my hands. I showed him, at which time he saw my sparkly wedding ring and stated "Damnit, someone already got you!" He made me blush! I decided to stop my run for a minute and have a conversation with this man. I learned that he was in the Army Infantry during the Korean War. He told me of a time that his unit was surrounded by thousands of North Koreans when out of nowhere, like Angels, the Marines came in and saved their butts. He told me that he owed his life to the Marines for that. I then told him that my husband was a Marine Infantryman. We talked for a minute about the Marines and the military life in general. He then asked me what I did. So of course I told him. He first asked if I was in the office (like a secretary.) I said No Sir, I'm a cop. I told him that I am 1 of 2, soon to be 3 females at our department! He was impressed. He went on to tell me about how he was a cop for a short time but he got out of it when he saw how awful his partner was to the people and drunks they were dealing with. He tried to talk sense into his partner, but he wasn't having any of it, so this man decided that he couldn't be in a job and work with people who behave like that. He was smart enough to know that all cops are not this way, in fact those cops are the rarity, but he decided he had better things to do in life. He then asked about my family and if we had kids. We told him and he immediately was able to describe them from the few walks we have taken that went past his house. This man's body may be failing him, but his mind is sharp as can be. He told me my boys were handsome and we were doing a good job. The man then glanced to his house and told me he better get back. He told me he is the primary caretaker of his wife who has Alzheimer's so bad that she doesn't know him and she often tries to wander from the house. I told him it was nice meeting him and he went home and I restarted my run. It was so heartwarming to be able to help someone like that. He was all I thought about during my run.
So Central Scheduling finally called me to schedule an appointment for an evaluation to have our oldest son tested for "Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD.) For the longest time I have thought something wasn't right with him and everyone kept telling me he was fine, he's just a boy. I knew deep down that he wasn't "fine." He had his kindergarten screening by Parents as Teachers and they told me that there were possibly some sensory issues there. I said okay and shrugged it off as my son needing glasses and that was the reason he was so clumsy. Then we had our parent-teacher conference. His Pre-K teacher told us that her daughter has SPD and she saw a lot of the same similarities in her daughter and our son. I did some research and all of a sudden it CLICKED! This was the reason my son acts the way he does and I AM NOT A BAD PARENT who's child is out of control. My biggest fear is having the kind of kid I have to deal with at work on a regular basis and feeling helpless because I couldn't control him. So here were the reasons I was led to believe our son had SPD....every kid has some of these at one point or another, but the frequency of symptoms made me cry when I realized this was him!
1.Doesn't like to be cuddled/Didn't want to be cuddled as an infant
2.Hated diaper changes
3.Prefers hugs
4.Excessively ticklish
5.Picky eater, will only eat certain foods, will avoid food tastes (sweets for him)
6.Walks on toes-we cannot keep this child in shoes longer than a month
7.craves touch and needs to touch everything he is near
8.is not bothered by injuries that he should feel pain from
9.enjoys and seeks out messy play
10.creates loud noise just to hear the noise
11.Difficulty with fine motor tasks
12. trouble getting to sleep/staying asleep
13. afraid of the dark
14. difficulty potty training
15.Hyperactivity
16. loves to spin/swing
17. thrill seeker (dangerous at times)
18. Easily frustrated
19. avoids eye contact
20. Engages in repetitive play (lines cars up for hours, watches the same show over and over and over again)
21. colic as an infant
---There are many many more, but that was just a snipit of why I believed something was wrong
So anyway, they called for the appointment. Said we could stay local because they see people as young as 4. In my head that meant they treat adults and children. That was NOT who I wanted treated and "fixing" my son. I wanted someone who worked with children, and ONLY children. They gave me another number to call for the child development center an hour away. I called them and she told me they had a cancellation and had an opening on Veteran's Day. The next available date for an assessment was the middle of December. I just couldn't wait that long, so I talked to my Lieutenant who is SUPER awesome and he said that we would make it work so I could leave work for a few hours to get this taken care of.
The day of the assessment came. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. What if there was nothing wrong with him, what if I imagined all of this in my head. I was going to be absolutely devastated if this wasn't the answer to what had been going on. So we got in for the assessment and Caleb immediately took to the Occupational Therapist. First they played with some sort of sticky gel dough and he had to find "diamonds" in it. Then he played with sand, then moon/kinetic sand. Then she put a weighted vest on him and took us to the physical therapy room. It was so bright and colorful. There was foam padding all over in red, yellow, and blue. Caleb played on the swing, then the zip line, then the slide, then the zipline, then the trampoline, then the......You get the picture. His OT didn't have to spend more than 30 minutes with him for her to see the things we saw. She said she called him a "Seeker" and she said insurance approved us for 20 OT visits a year so we were going to start this week by coming weekly and getting him back to normal. She was so caring and she even told Caleb she would learn about dinosaurs just for him so they had something to talk about during their time together. She gave me patterns for weighted vests, weighted blankets/lap pillows, and weighted lap buddies.
I felt such a sense of relief. We FINALLY had an answer to why we couldn't control our kid. I FINALLY took a breath and thought to myself, "YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM" "You didn't cause this." So I immediately joined some SPD Parent support groups on Facebook, I started researching purchasing weighted items (OMG!) Those things are crazy expensive. During my research I came across a company called 'Vests for Visionaries." I contacted her and told her our story. She told me that she doesn't charge for the vest and she doesn't weight the vest, but she only would charge for shipping, $7.00. This angel of a woman takes donated uniforms (mainly military) and converts them in to weighted vests for children. She puts some accents on them to personalize them and expects nothing in return. She put Caleb on her list and said she would be in contact with me in about 3-4 weeks to take care of shipping. I feel like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't know how we were going to pay for all these things that are not covered by insurance. She doesn't know it, but she was an answer to a prayer!
We have continued to have outbursts and meltdowns since the visit. I cannot wait to get him going with his therapy so he can start feeling like he isn't trapped in his body and my husband and I can get some coping strategies for dealing with meltdowns. In the last week I have had to pull over twice because he was so upset that he started to get sick. He was mad because a small hole was in his batman color page and I wouldn't go get a new one from the YMCA when we were halfway home. That is one example of what we deal with. Its rough, but I know deep down that others have it worse than us. I am truly thankful that Caleb is mostly normal, he just needs a little bit of help along the way.
Today my Sister in law, and her mom (my 2nd mom), and my niece and nephew came over. We were going to try and figure out how to use my sewing machine so we could make Caleb his very own dinosaur lap pillow. Well we got to the point of sewing....and FAIL. Apparently when someone (not naming names, but he shares a bed with me) set it up, we accidentally lost the bobber/bobbin. So being the awesome person Lesa is, she took all my materials and said she was going to ship them to her friend today, have them make a pillow AND a weighted blanket out of what we had and have it sent back. Words cannot express how thankful I am for that. Lesa understood what I was going through and was so supportive of what we are doing for Caleb! She also told me that for this all to work, that we have to have the support of the ENTIRE family. They all have to accept this is a real thing for Caleb and they need to support us in helping him get "better." Ideally I would like to infuse the pillow and blanket with some DoTerra Balance Blend or Lavender when I get them back.
So enough about that now that I have bored y'all to tears with my "woe is me" story. Jason and I had the pleasure of attending a marriage seminar for designed for families in law enforcement. This was presented by "Badge of Hope Ministries" with assistance from "Covered Law Enforcement." This was an AMAZING day. WE NEEDED THIS! We learned about some financial budgeting techniques from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University that we are giving a try to see how it works. We heard from Jonathan Parker, Founder of Covered Law Enforcement, as he told us about how his wife dropped dead at his feet a week after delivering their first child and through prayer and the Grace of our Creator, she was brought back to this Earth. He was told that normally they find out what happened to people like his wife during the autopsy. She shouldn't have lived but a miracle brought her back. It was an amazing testament to faith as we heard readings from the book of Nehemiah. We then heard from Kristi Neace, co-founder of Badge of Hope Ministries. We learned about why cops act the way they do at home and ways to be supportive of your spouse. This was so important for us because we both go through these things as the spouse and the cop. Things were never bad between us, but we definitely grew in our love for each other through this and became stronger as a couple. We are going to make sure we plan monthly date nights so we have time for JUST US. We are also going to try and live off of a budget. We are going to use the envelope system for spending cash, groceries, date night, and eating out. I hope we see our bank account start to climb through this!
So that's about all I have for now. If you are ready this and are familiar with SPD, please reach out to me and tell me what has worked or not worked for you. I am open to any suggestions at this point!
